My nervous system was shot. My digestive system a total mess.

I would drink coffee all day to cope with the pressure, stress and discomfort of the work day, then I would drink wine all night to try to come down from it all. It was a vicious cycle. And subconsciously running on autopilot to keep me from the truth.

The truth was, the way my business was running was unsustainable and not profitable. And I had some dark truths about my partnership that I was avoiding - trying to push through and tamp down because the aftermath from me admitting these truths might be irreversible. (spoiler alert: they were!)

I wanted to get pregnant, so quitting coffee and alcohol was everything to do with getting ready for this - I had no idea the side effects it would have in my business.

I started meditating- 10 minutes a day, right there in my office (an open floor plan right there in the factory floor, machines buzzing, and people all around).

I started to notice my intuition more, when I would get pings of unease in my gut, or that tightness in my chest. My body was trying to tell me things for a very long time, and I had been ignoring it for too long.

I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I was forced to face my feelings, the facts, the numbers, the patterns and the truth.

Here was the truth:

1. Even though we had almost a million dollars coming in each year, it was barely enough to cover expenses.

2. We were incredibly top heavy. With two owners at the top, something big had to shift in our roles in order to pay us each enough.

3. We were doing TONS of shit that was breaking even or losing money.

4. My partnership wasn’t serving me- the writing was on the wall and I had been avoiding conflict for too long.

And the truth was the best thing that could have happened to me.

The truth was my vision of being a mom didn’t work in the system I had built. So I had two choices, fix the system or go free.

I went free.

Now I am SO DAMN GRATEFUL to have built a new system that allows me to make more money personally than I ever have, work part time, and do what I absolutely LOVE doing. I get to help other women fix these systemic issues in their business before it burns them out completely. We point the trajectory of their growth towards ease and freedom from the early days, so there’s never a scary wake-up call.